Let me ask you a question.
Have you ever felt like someone else was driving your body during a stressful moment? Like your hands were shaking, your voice cracked, your heart was racing—and some tiny, panicked version of you had taken the wheel?
Yeah. That’s not your imagination.
That’s your inner chaos controller—the version of you that was trained to scan for danger before you ever knew what the word trauma meant. The one who got real good at spotting red flags, reading between the lines, and making executive decisions with 3 seconds’ notice because—if she didn’t—things exploded.
She’s not a villain. She’s the one who survived for you.
But now, if you want to thrive?
She’s gotta get a new job.
Step 1: Name the Little Manager Running Your System
When I finally started to untangle the emotional knots in my body, I realized something important:
There’s a whole internal staff living inside us.
There’s:
The Manager—trying to control everything before it goes wrong.
The Firefighter—shoving snacks, screens, or shutdowns at you when it does.
And the Exile—the part of you that still hides in the corner, convinced she’s too much, too loud, or just not enough.
This isn’t woo woo stuff—it’s based on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, a trauma-informed therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS teaches us that we’re made up of many “parts,” and each one developed to protect us—especially during times of emotional chaos.
It’s not dysfunction.
It’s survival.
But if you want to thrive?
You’ve got to reassign the roles.
And for me, that started with giving mine a name.
JCPenney.
That was the nickname one of my aunts gave me as a little girl—probably because I was always putting on a show, always trying to “get it right,” and always, always scanning for how to avoid trouble.
So now?
When I feel that old panic start to bubble, I put my hand on my heart, close my eyes, and whisper:
“Hi, JCPenney. I see you.
I know this feels familiar.
I know your job was to keep us safe.
And girl, you did it. You saved us from a lot of beatings—through your scanning, your fixing, your hypervigilance.
But we’re not there anymore.
We don’t need to chase love.
We don’t need to beg for crumbs.
We don’t need to perform for safety.”
Then I take a deep breath and say:
“You don’t have to manage the danger anymore.
You get to rest.
You’re not the lookout tower.
You’re the chief celebration officer now.
Your new job is to scan for wins, not threats.”
And I hug her. In my mind, I hug that little girl so tight and say:
“We’re both CEO queens now.
I got you this time.
You don’t have to be scared anymore.
We lead now.”
Step 2: Your Turn—Name Yours
Maybe you name her Miss Fix-It. Or Bossy B. Or Little Lila. Maybe she wears a cape. Maybe she’s six years old with a jelly-stained shirt and eyes that just want to be loved.
Whatever her name is, meet her with reverence—not ridicule.
Because she’s the reason you made it here.
Step 3: Reassign Her Role
Tell her the truth:
“You were hired to survive.
But now?
We’re ready to thrive.”
Let her know that now, her job is to track abundance—not danger. Her job is to remember how far you’ve come, not how far things could fall.
Start retraining her:
“We don’t chase. We choose.”
“We don’t panic. We pivot.”
“We don’t beg. We build.”
“We don’t wait for someone else to believe—we believe ourselves.”
And every time you feel her spiraling?
Pause.
Put your hand on your heart. Whisper, “I got you. We’re safe.”
Step 4: Prove It with Evidence
Listen up, this is important:
If you’re still convincing yourself that you’re broke, behind, or failing—you need to look again.
Because abundance? She’s been flirting with you this whole time.
Let me show you how to re-train your brain:
Look at your closet. Even if it’s full of old tees and Target jeans—that’s abundance.
Look at your kitchen. All those cups? Abundance.
Look at the trees outside your window. Every leaf? A reminder: nature never skimps.
Look at the cars on the street. Somebody invented DRIVING, babe—and now there are literally millions of vehicles carrying people forward every day.
Look at the stop signs, the roads, the buildings. You’re living in the middle of someone else’s once-impossible dream.
Your inner chaos manager learned to scan for risk.
Now it’s time she learns to scan for riches.
Because if you want your nervous system to calm the hell down, it needs something better to focus on than “what might go wrong.”
Let her count the good. Let her be dazzled. Let her rest in proof that life is no longer a battlefield—it’s a buffet.
Final Words to Whisper to Her
“You did your job. You kept us alive.
And now? I’ll take it from here.
We’re not just surviving—we’re thriving.
We are the storm and the shelter.
And this life we’re building?
It’s bigger than anything we were taught to fear.”
Now go ahead—close your eyes.
Picture her.
Hold her.
Say the words.
And let her rest.
You’re good now.
You’re really good.
And that moment you just had?
That’s not weakness.
That’s rewiring.
Your Assignment:
Name your inner manager—give her a name, a personality, a look, even a catchphrase if you want.
Write her a letter—thank her for what she’s done, and tell her what her new job is.
Pick five forms of abundance around you today. Big or small. Write them down.
Start the day tomorrow with this affirmation:
“I don’t have to panic. I just have to pivot.
My power is predictable.
My wins are inevitable.”
Because baby, you’re not stuck in the past anymore.
You’re building a future so rich, your little inner manager won’t even know what to scan for.
And that?
That’s exactly the point.
Now, tag me @poweredbyjess on all socials and spill the tea. I want to hear about those breakthrough moments, because darling, we are not here to play small—we’re here to SLAY.
If you haven’t already, hit that follow button and stay tuned for more sass, wisdom, and strategies to live your boldest, fiercest life. Because, we’re just getting started, and trust me—you do NOT want to miss what’s coming next! 👑✨ #BreakThosePatterns #BossMoves
